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SONGS OF A SAVOYARD SONGS OF A SAVOYARD W. S. GILBERT Contents:
The Darned Mounseer The Englishman The Disagreeable Man The Coming By-And-By The Highly Respectable Gondolier The Fairy Queen's Song Is Life A Boon The Modern Major-General The Heavy Dragoon Proper Pride The Policeman's Lot The Baffled Grumbler The House Of Peers A Merry Madrigal The Duke And The Duchess Eheu Fugaces -! They'll None Of `Em Be Missed Girl Graduates Braid The Raven Hair The Working Monarch The Ape And The Lady Only Roses The Rover's Apology An Appeal The Reward Of Merit The Magnet And The Churn The Family Fool Sans Souci A Recipe The Merryman And His Maid The Susceptible Chancellor When A Merry Maiden Marries The British Tar A Man Who Would Woo A Fair Maid The Sorcerer's Song The Fickle Breeze The First Lord's Song Would You Know? Speculation Ah Me! The Duke Of Plaza-Toro The Aesthete Said I To Myself Said I Sorry Her Lot The Contemplative Sentry The Philosophic Pill Blue Blood The Judge's Song When I First Put This Uniform On Solatium A Nightmare Don't Forget! The Suicide's Grave He And She The Mighty Must A Mirage The Ghosts' High Noon The Humane Mikado Willow Waly! Life Is Lovely All The Year The Usher's Charge The Great Oak Tree King Goodheart Sleep On! The Love-Sick Boy Poetry Everywhere He Loves! True Diffidence The Tangled Skein My Lady One Against The World Put A Penny In The Slot Good Little Girls Life Limited Liability Anglicised Utopia An English Girl A Manager's Perplexities Out Of Sorts How It's Done A Classical Revival The Practical Joker The National Anthem Her Terms The Independent Bee The Disconcerted Tenor The Played-Out Humorist Ballad: The Darned Mounseer I shipped d'ye see in a Revenue sloop And off Cape Finisteere A merchantman we see A Frenchman going free So we made for the bold Mounseer D'ye see? We made for the bold Mounseer! But she proved to be a Frigate - and she up with her ports And fires with a thirty-two! It come uncommon near But we answered with a cheer Which paralysed the Parley-voo D'ye see? Which paralysed the Parley-voo! Then our Captain he up and he says says he "That chap we need not fear - We can take her if we like She is sartin for to strike For she's only a darned Mounseer D'ye see? She's only a darned Mounseer! But to fight a French fal-lal - it's like hittin' of a gal - It's a lubberly thing for to do; For we with all our faults Why we're sturdy British salts While she's but a Parley-voo D'ye see? A miserable Parley-voo!" So we up with our helm and we scuds before the breeze As we gives a compassionating cheer; Froggee answers with a shout As he sees us go about Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer D'ye see? Which was grateful of the poor Mounseer! And I'll wager in their joy they kissed each other's cheek (Which is what them furriners do) And they blessed their lucky stars We were hardy British tars Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo D'ye see? Who had pity on a poor Parley-voo! Ballad: The Englishman He is an Englishman! For he himself has said it And it's greatly to his credit That he is an Englishman! For he might have been a Roosian A French or Turk or Proosian Or perhaps Itali-an! But in spite of all temptations To belong to other nations He remains an Englishman! Hurrah! For the true-born Englishman! Ballad: The Disagreeable Man If you give me your attention I will tell you what I am: I'm a genuine philanthropist - all other kinds are sham. Each little fault of temper and each social defect In my erring fellow-creatures I endeavour to correct. To all their little weaknesses I open people's eyes And little plans to snub the self-sufficient I devise; I love my fellow-creatures - I do all the good I can - Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! To compliments inflated I've a withering reply And vanity I always do my best to mortify; A charitable action I can skilfully dissect; And interested motives I'm delighted to detect. I know everybody's income and what everybody earns And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns; But to benefit humanity however much I plan Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! I'm sure I'm no ascetic; I'm as pleasant as can be; You'll always find me ready with a crushing repartee; I've an irritating chuckle I've a celebrated sneer I've an entertaining snigger I've a fascinating leer; To everybody's prejudice I know a thing or two; I can tell a woman's age in half a minute - and I do - But although I try to make myself as pleasant as I can Yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! And I can't think why! Ballad: The Coming By-And-By Sad is that woman's lot who year by year Sees one by one her beauties disappear; As Time grown weary of her heart-drawn sighs Impatiently begins to "dim her eyes"! - Herself compelled in life's uncertain gloamings To wreathe her wrinkled brow with well-saved "combings" - Reduced with rouge lipsalve and pearly grey To "make up" for lost time as best she may! Silvered is the raven hair Spreading is the parting straight Mottled the complexion fair Halting is the youthful gait Hollow is the laughter free Spectacled the limpid eye Little will be left of me In the coming by-and-by! Fading is the taper waist - Shapeless grows the shapely limb And although securely laced Spreading is the figure trim! Stouter than I used to be Still more corpulent grow I - There will be too much of me In the coming by-and-by! ...
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