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THE SATYRICON - V3
THE SATYRICON - V3 PETRONIUS ARBITER Complete and unexpurgated translation by W. C. Firebaugh
in which are incorporated the forgeries of Nodot and Marchena
and the readings introduced into the text by De Salas.
BRACKET CODE:
(Forgeries of Nodot)
[Forgeries of Marchena]
{Additions of De Salas}
DW
VOLUME 3.--FURTHER ADVENTURES OF ENCOLPIUS AND HIS COMPANIONS
CHAPTER THE SEVENTY-NINTH.
There was no torch to light the way for us as we wandered around nor
did the silence of midnight give promise of our meeting any wayfarer with
a light; in addition to this we were drunk and unfamiliar with the
district which would confuse one even in daylight so for the best part
of a mortal hour we dragged our bleeding feet over all the flints and
pieces of broken tile till we were extricated at last by Giton's
cleverness. This prudent youngster had been afraid of going astray on
the day before so he had taken care to mark all the pillars and columns
with chalk. These marks stood out distinctly even through the pitchy
night and by their brilliant whiteness pointed out the way for us as we
wandered about. Nevertheless we had no less cause for being in a sweat
even when we came to our lodging for the old woman herself had been
sitting and swilling so long with her guests that even if one had set her
afire she would not have known it. We would have spent the night on the
door-sill had not Trimalchio's courier come up in state with ten wagons;
he hammered on the door for a short time and then smashed it in giving
us an entrance through the same breach. (Hastening to the sleeping-
chamber I went to bed with my "brother" and burning with passion as I
was after such a magnificent dinner I surrendered myself wholly to
sexual gratification.)
Oh Goddesses and Gods that purple night
How soft the couch! And we embracing tight;
With every wandering kiss our souls would meet!
Farewell all mortal woes to die were sweet
But my self-congratulation was premature for I was overcome with wine
and when my unsteady hands relaxed their hold Ascyltos that never-
failing well-spring of iniquity stole the boy away from me in the night
and carried him to his own bed where he wallowed around without
restraint with a "brother" not his own while the latter not noticing
the fraud or pretending not to notice it went to sleep in a stranger's
arms in defiance of all human rights. Awaking at last I felt the bed
over and found that it had been despoiled of its treasure: then by all
that lovers hold dear I swear I was on the verge of transfixing them
both with my sword and uniting their sleep with death. At last however
I adopted a more rational plan; I spanked Giton into wakefulness and
glaring at Ascyltos "Since you have broken faith by this outrage" I
gritted out with a savage frown "and severed our friendship you had
better get your things together at once and pick up some other bottom
for your abominations!" He raised no objection to this but after we had
divided everything with scrupulous exactitude "Come on now" he
demanded "and we'll divide the boy!"
CHAPTER THE EIGHTIETH.
I thought this was a parting joke till he whipped out his sword with a
murderous hand. "You'll not have this prize you're brooding over all to
yourself! Since I've been rejected I'll have to cut off my share with
this sword." I followed suit on my side and wrapping a mantle around
my left arm I put myself on guard for the duel. The unhappy boy
rendered desperate by our unreasoning fury hugged each of us tightly by
the knee and in tears he humbly begged that this wretched lodging-house
should not witness a Theban duel and that we would not pollute--with
mutual bloodshed the sacred rites of a friendship that was as yet
unstained. "If a crime must be committed" he wailed "here is my naked
throat turn your swords this way and press home the points. I ought to
be the one to die I broke the sacred pledge of friendship." We lowered
our points at these entreaties. "I'll settle this dispute" Ascyltos
spoke up "let the boy follow whomsoever he himself wishes to follow.
In that way he at least will have perfect freedom in choosing a
'brother'." Imagining that a relationship of such long standing had
passed into a tie of blood I was not at all uneasy so I snatched at
this proposition with precipitate eagerness and submitted the dispute to
the judge. He did not deliberate long enough to seem even to hesitate
for he got up and chose Ascyltos for a "brother" as soon as the last
syllable had passed my lips! At this decision I was thunder-struck
and threw myself upon the bed unarmed and just as I stood. Had I not
begrudged my enemy such a triumph I would have laid violent hands upon
myself. Flushed with success Ascyltos marched out with his prize and
abandoned in a strange town a comrade in the depths of despair; one
whom but a little while before he had loved most unselfishly one whose
destiny was so like his own.
As long as is expedient the name of friendship lives
Just as in dicing Fortune smiles or lowers;
When good luck beckons then your friend his gleeful service gives
But basely flies when ruin o'er you towers.
The strollers act their farces upon the stage each one his part
The father son the rich man all are here
But soon the page is turned upon the comic actor's art
The masque is dropped the make-ups disappear!
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-FIRST.
Nevertheless I did not indulge myself very long in tears being afraid
that Menelaus the tutor might drop in upon me all alone in the lodging-
house and catch me in the midst of my troubles so I collected my
baggage and with a heavy heart sneaked off to an obscure quarter near
the seashore. There I kept to my room for three days. My mind was
continually haunted by my loneliness and desertion and I beat my breast
already sore from blows. "Why could not the earth have opened and
swallowed me" I wailed aloud between the many deep-drawn groans "or
the sea which rages even against the guiltless? Did I flee from
justice murder my ghost and cheat the arena in order that after so
many proofs of courage I might be left lying here deserted a beggar and
an exile in a lodging-house in a Greek town? And who condemned me to
this desolation'? A boy stained by every form of vice who by his own
confession ought to be exiled: free through vice expert in vice whose
favors came through a throw of the dice who hired himself out as a girl
to those who knew him to be a boy! And as to the other what about him?
In place of the manly toga he donned the woman's stola when he reached
the age of puberty: he resolved even from his mother's womb never to
become a man; in the slave's prison he took the woman's part in the
sexual act he changed the instrument of his lechery when he double-
crossed me abandoned the ties of a long-standing friendship and shame
upon him sold everything for a single night's dalliance like any other
street-walker! Now the lovers lie whole nights locked in each other's
arms and I suppose they make a mockery of my desolation when they are
resting up from the exhaustion caused by their mutual excesses. But not
with impunity! If I don't avenge the wrong they have done me. in their
guilty blood I'm no free man!"
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-SECOND.
I girded on my sword when I had said these words and fortifying my
strength with a heavy meal so that weakness would not cause me to lose
the battle I presently sallied forth into the public streets and rushed
through all the arcades like a maniac. But while with my face savagely
convulsed in a frown I was meditating nothing but bloodshed and
slaughter and was continually clapping my hand to the hilt of my sword
which I had consecrated to this I was observed by a soldier that is he
either was a real soldier or else he was some night-prowling thug who
challenged me. "Halt! Who goes there? What legion are you from? Who's
your centurion?" "Since when have men in your outfit gone on pass in
white shoes?" he retorted when I had lied stoutly about both centurion
and legion. Both my face and my confusion proved that I had been caught
in a lie so he ordered me to surrender my arms and to take care that I
did not get into trouble. I was held up as a matter of course and my
revenge balked I returned to my lodging-house and recovering by degrees
from my fright I began to be grateful to the boldness of the footpad.
It is not wise to place much reliance upon any scheme because Fortune
has a method of her own.
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-THIRD.
(Nevertheless I found it very difficult to stifle my longing for
revenge and after tossing half the night in anxiety I arose at dawn
and in the hope of mitigating my mental sufferings and of forgetting my
wrongs I took a walk through all the public arcades and) entered a
picture-gallery which contained a wonderful collection of pictures in
various styles. I beheld works from the hand of Zeuxis still undimmed
by the passage of the years and contemplated not without a certain awe
the crude drawings of Protogenes which equalled the reality of nature
herself; but when I stood before the work of Apelles the kind which the
Greeks call "Monochromatic" verily I almost worshipped for the
outlines of the figures were drawn with such subtlety of touch and were
so life-like in their precision that you would have thought their very
souls were depicted. Here an eagle was soaring into the sky bearing the
shepherd of Mount Ida to heaven; there the comely Hylas was struggling
to escape from the embrace of the lascivious Naiad. Here too was
Apollo cursing his murderous hand and adorning his unstrung lyre with
the flower just created. Standing among these lovers which were only
painted "It seems that even the gods are wracked by love" I cried
aloud as if I were in a wilderness. "Jupiter could find none to his
taste even in his own heaven so he had to sin on earth but no one was
betrayed by him! The nymph who ravished Hylas would have controlled her
passion had she thought Hercules was coming to forbid it. Apollo
recalled the spirit of a boy in the form of a flower and all the lovers
of Fable enjoyed Love's embraces without a rival but I took as a comrade
a friend more cruel than Lycurgus!" But at that very instant as I was
telling my troubles to the winds a white-haired old man entered the
picture-gallery; his face was care-worn and he seemed I know not why
to give promise of something great although he bestowed so little care
upon his dress that it was easily apparent that he belonged to that class
of literati which the wealthy hold in contempt. "I am a poet" he
remarked when he had approached me and stood at my side "and one of no
mean ability I hope that is if anything is to be inferred from the
crowns which gratitude can place even upon the heads of the unworthy!
Then why you demand are you dressed so shabbily? For that very reason;
love or art never yet made anyone rich."
The trader trusts his fortune to the sea and takes his gains
The warrior for his deeds is girt with gold;
The wily sycophant lies drunk on purple counterpanes
Young wives must pay debauchees or they're cold.
But solitary shivering in tatters Genius stands
Invoking a neglected art for succor at its hands.
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-FOURTH.
"It is certainly true that a man is hated when he declares himself an
enemy to all vice and begins to follow the right road in life because
in the first place his habits are different from those of other people;
for who ever approved of anything to which he took exceptions? Then
they whose only ambition is to pile up riches don't want to believe that
men can possess anything better than that which they have themselves;
therefore they use every means in their power to so buffet the lovers
of literature that they will seem in their proper place--below the
moneybags." "I know not why it should be so" (I said with a sigh) "but
Poverty is the sister of Genius." ("You have good reason" the old man
replied "to deplore the status of men of letters." "No" I answered
"that was not the reason for my sigh there is another and far weightier
cause for my grief." Then in accordance with the human propensity of
pouring one's personal troubles into another's ears I explained my
misfortune to him and dwelt particularly upon Ascyltos' perfidy.) "Oh
how I wish that this enemy who is the cause of my enforced continence
could be mollified" (I cried with many a groan) "but he is an old hand
at robbery and more cunning than the pimps themselves!" (My frankness
pleased the old man who attempted to comfort me and to beguile my
sorrow he related the particulars of an amorous intrigue in which he
himself had played a part.)
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-FIFTH.
"When I was attached to the Quaestor's staff in Asia I was quartered
with a family at Pergamus. I found things very much to my liking there
not only on account of the refined comfort of my apartments but also
because of the extreme beauty of my host's son. For the latter reason
I had recourse to strategy in order that the father should never suspect
me of being a seducer. So hotly would I flare up whenever the abuse
of handsome boys was even mentioned at the table and with such
uncompromising sternness would I protest against having my ears insulted
by such filthy talk that I came to be looked upon especially by the
mother as one of the philosophers. I was conducting the lad to the
gymnasium before very long and superintending his conduct taking
especial care all the while that no one who could debauch him should
ever enter the house. Then there came a holiday the school was closed
and our festivities had rendered us too lazy to retire properly so we
lay down in the dining-room. It was just about midnight and I knew he
was awake so I murmured this vow in a very low voice 'Oh Lady Venus
could I but kiss this lad and he not know it I would give him a pair of
turtle-doves tomorrow!' On hearing the price offered for this favor the
boy commenced to snore! Then bending over the pretending sleeper I
snatched a fleeting kiss or two. Satisfied with this beginning I arose
early in the morning brought a fine pair of turtle-doves to the eager
lad and absolved myself from my vow."
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-SIXTH.
"Next night when the same opportunity presented itself I changed my
petition 'If I can feel him all over with a wanton hand' I vowed 'and
he not know it I will give him two of the gamest fighting-cocks for his
silence.' The lad nestled closer to me of his own accord on hearing this
offer and I truly believe that he was afraid that I was asleep. I made
short work of his apprehensions on that score however by stroking and
fondling his whole body. I worked myself into a passionate fervor that
was just short of supreme gratification. Then when day dawned I made
him happy with what I had promised him. When the third night gave me
my chance I bent close to the ear of the rascal who pretended to be
asleep. 'Immortal gods' I whispered 'if I can take full and complete
satisfaction of my love from this sleeping beauty I will tomorrow
present him with the best Macedonian pacer in the market in return for
this bliss provided that he does not know it.' Never had the lad slept
so soundly! First I filled my hands with his snowy breasts then I
pressed a clinging kiss upon his mouth but I finally focused all my
energies upon one supreme delight! Early in the morning he sat up in
bed awaiting my usual gift. It is much easier to buy doves and game-
cocks than it is to buy a pacer as you know and aside from that I was
also afraid that so valuable a present might render my motive subject to
suspicion so after strolling around for some hours I returned to the
house and gave the lad nothing at all except a kiss. He looked all
around threw his arms about my neck. 'Tell me master' he cried
'where's the pacer?' ('The difficulty of getting one fine enough has
compelled me to defer the fulfillment of my promise' I replied 'but I
will make it good in a few days.' The lad easily understood the true
meaning of my answer and his countenance betrayed his secret
resentment.)"
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-SEVENTH.
"(In the meantime) by breaking this vow I had cut myself off from the
avenue of access which I had contrived but I returned to the attack all
the same when the opportunity came. In a few days a similar occasion
brought about the very same conditions as before and the instant I heard
his father snoring I began pleading with the lad to receive me again
into his good graces that is to say that he ought to suffer me to
satisfy myself with him and he in turn could do whatever his own
distended member desired. He was very angry however and would say
nothing at all except 'Either you go to sleep or I'll call father!'
But no obstacle is so difficult that depravity cannot twist around it and
even while he threatened 'I'll call father' I slipped into his bed and
took my pleasure in spite of his half-hearted resistance. Nor was he
displeased with my improper conduct for although he complained for a
while that he had been cheated and made a laughing- stock and that his
companions to whom he had bragged of his wealthy friend had made sport
of him. 'But you'll see that I'll not be like you' he whispered; 'do it
again if you want to!' All misunderstandings were forgotten and I was
readmitted into the lad's good graces. Then I slipped off to sleep
after profiting by his complaisance. But the youth in the very flower
of maturity and just at the best age for passive pleasure was by no
means satisfied with only one repetition so he roused me out of a heavy
sleep. 'Isn't there something you'd like to do?' he whispered! The
pastime had not begun to cloy as yet and somehow or other what with
panting and sweating and wriggling he got what he wanted and worn out
with pleasure I dropped off to sleep again. Less than an hour had passed
when he began to punch me with his hand. 'Why are we not busy' he
whispered! I flew into a violent rage at being disturbed so many times
and threatened him in his own words 'Either you go to sleep or I'll
call father!'"
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-EIGHTH.
Heartened up by this story I began to draw upon his more comprehensive
knowledge as to the ages of the pictures and as to certain of the stories
connected with them upon which I was not clear; and I likewise inquired
into the causes of the decadence of the present age in which the most
refined arts had perished and among them painting which had not left
even the faintest trace of itself behind. "Greed of money" he replied
"has brought about these unaccountable changes. In the good old times
when virtue was her own reward the fine arts flourished and there was
the keenest rivalry among men for fear that anything which could be of
benefit to future generations should remain long undiscovered. Then it
was that Democritus expressed the juices of all plants and spent his
whole life in experiments in order that no curative property should lurk
unknown in stone or shrub. That he might understand the movements of
heaven and the stars Eudoxus grew old upon the summit of a lofty
mountain: three times did Chrysippus purge Ills brain with hellebore
that his faculties might be equal to invention. Turn to the sculptors if
you will; Lysippus perished from hunger while in profound meditation upon
the lines of a single statue and Myron who almost embodied the souls of
men and beasts in bronze could not find an heir. And we sodden with
wine and women cannot even appreciate the arts already practiced we
only criticise the past! We learn only vice and teach it too. What has
become of logic? of astronomy? Where is the exquisite road to wisdom?
Who even goes into a temple to make a vow that he may achieve eloquence
or bathe in the fountain of wisdom? And they do not pray for good health
and a sound mind; before they even set foot upon the threshold of the
temple one promises a gift if only he may bury a rich relative; another
if he can but dig up a treasure and still another if he is permitted to
amass thirty millions of sesterces in safety! The Senate itself the
exponent of all that should be right and just is in the habit of
promising a thousand pounds of gold to the capitol and that no one may
question the propriety of praying for money it even decorates Jupiter
himself with spoils'. Do not hesitate therefore at expressing your
surprise at the deterioration of painting since by all the gods and men
alike a lump of gold is held to be more beautiful than anything ever
created by those crazy little Greek fellows Apelles and Phydias!"
CHAPTER THE EIGHTY-NINTH.
"But I see that your whole attention is held by that picture which
portrays the destruction of Troy so I will attempt to unfold the story
in verse:
And now the tenth harvest beheld the beleaguered of Troia
Worn out with anxiety fearing: the honor of Calchas
The prophet hung wavering deep in the blackest despair.
Apollo commanded! The forested peaks of Mount Ida
Were felled and dragged down; the hewn timbers were fitted to fashion
A war-horse. Unfilled is a cavity left and this cavern
Roofed over capacious enough for a camp. Here lie hidden
The raging impetuous valor of ten years of warfare.
Malignant Greek troops pack the recess lurk in their own offering.
Alas my poor country! We thought that their thousand grim war-ships
Were beaten and scattered our arable lands freed from warfare!
Th' inscription cut into the horse and the crafty behavior
Of Sinon his mind ever powerful for evil affirmed it.
Delivered from war now the crowd carefree hastens to worship
And pours from the portals. Their cheeks wet with weeping the joy
Of their tremulous souls brings to eyes tears which terror
Had banished. Laocoon priest unto Neptune with hair loosed
An outcry evoked from the mob: he drew back his javelin
And launched it! The belly of wood was his target. The weapon
Recoiled for the fates stayed his hand and this artifice won us.
His feeble hand nerved he anew and the lofty sides sounded
His two-edged ax tried them severely. The young troops in ambush
Gasped. And as long as the reverberations re-echoed
The wooden mass breathed out a fear that was not of its own.
Imprisoned the warriors advance to take Troia a captive
And finish the struggle by strategem new and unheard of.
Behold! Other portents: Where Tenedos steep breaks the ocean
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